Side A, Part 1
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended: Thursday, May 4, 2017 at 12:52AM
The black star rises as my favorite gum is coming back in style and the frozen inferno waltzes beside me.
Seeing with my third eye gouged, bleeding out from my soul’s nocturne. In a crowd I’m so alone.
And your irises are like a damn fine cup of coffee, as I stare down the long winding road.
My hopes and dreams are worth $6.31 and at six-thirty-one others follow the lie I believe.
                                The Human Machine:
                “And there I saw him. Naked and bloody as the moon was bright, he switched narrative device to confound and confuse me, to berate and belittle me. But, no, he wasn’t broken. He was refined in his thought. My heart went out to him, or so I thought.”
                This statement is false,
This thought naught but non-existent,
Call me crazy,
But I think I am human,
Blessed and damned to be.
I don’t feel anything as you cry in this enclosed circle-jerk, my brain is telling me not to laugh at you, but internally I do. My heart is crooked and I do declare: I love those who matter the rest can jump off that cliff for all I care. Life got on without you, natural selection doesn’t favor and compare.
How can you make this question have meaning?
Can you take me to a place neither of us has seen?
Is this poem coded message?
If it ever was could you tell me what it was?
                                The Narrator:
“And, here I stand, naked thusly before the gods, if there was any that ever were. I laugh at the nothingness that occurs, I blaspheme without really trying. I cannot sleep even after all the poisoned medicine enters my bloodstream. These words were not and are not still very valid. You do not and, most likely cannot understand the way I think, but then again. Why would you want to?”
The road was long, and your eyes are glassy.
I make my advances, and you reject me, but that is okay.
This life is the blessed dream, and damned if I wouldn’t mind waking up.
                                The Reader:
                “I have to which no idea of what he has said” inferred the reader, “he doesn’t know how to properly write, nor does his standing of logic make any sense.  What does he exactly mean?” Pondered The Reader as they examined the given textual stimulus. Lost as they felt hints of malice within The Writer’s tone. However little do they know, the joke is on them? They are wonderful as can be.
Side A, Part 2
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended:  Friday, May 5, 2017 at 7:50PM
                                The Speaker:
                No one is so key that they can seize the liberty of others.  Normality is a well traveled road, easy to traverse, but nothing natural blooms.  It’s a pipe dream of conformity.  Now may I please speak? Good, “said the verbose pretentious pontificator.”
The Writer: When can I be creative again?

(The Chorus:  Now is not the time to make anything.)

The Writer: Why can’t I be happy?
(The Chorus:  Now isn’t the time to experience anything).
The “Self-Help”:
                                Everyone my secret to joy isn’t anything.
                                If you want to be happy, be so and it shall be such.
                                Desire misery and it will find you.
                                Look for me and you’ll find me, I’m Everywhere,
                                Nowhere,
                                And Somewhere.
                                                                The Fragment of Sanity:
Where are my pills to level my head?
                My meds are wearing off and I need my fix can’t you see?
                                Where is the poison that you feed?
                                                I think I feel my memories.
                                                                I’m not really sure.
                                                                                                                That guy, YES, that one! :
                “The Sky was blue behind grey clouds, and that kind of blue that is baby blue, closer to a navy or midnight. As for the clouds, they were like the ashes of used charcoal that had gotten wet from the rain of rainclouds. The dirt had become boggy and slick, like cold canine feces and as I walked on the concrete slabs, you would think I was leaving behind some rebellious art student’s revenge. Don’t get me started on when it dried. It was terrible, if I had a god I worshipped, I’d be so embarrassed for it.”
Uplifting quote:
                “True happiness is not out there. True happiness lies within.”
Side B, Part 1
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended: Saturday, May 6, 2017 at 4:07AM
                the lonely child:
                                What would I do if I had a time machine?
                I’d see my grandmother one last time.
                                                Even if it was just to say “good-bye.”
For The Nolesse Oblige:
“I am he who is of me who bleed from open vein with cold steel against warm bodies. I abandon God, for in these moments, it has abandoned me. Comfort from attempted overdoses and self-abuses. I am obliged to behave like Man, although of meatbags, I don’t give a proper damn. To hell with their wants, they don’t deserve to be saved. They deserve to be punished, just as I am.”
The Wounded Hand:
                Do you but mock my pain?
                                                                Good,
                                                                                Because life is pain,
                                                                                                                Don’t be sold on anything else.
The Sadist of Thorns:
                In this circle-jerk of a gathering of plenty,
Such sweet and plentiful suffering,
So sweet like honeyed candy.
Drills a pain like ice cream.
And dearest, don’t make me hard.
It only hurts when I am.
                All over, all over.
And doesn’t stop.
So don’t stop.
The Human of Man:
                “It’s important to be kind” he pleaded, ”it isn’t your fault, it was part of your design.”
“You’re like a piece of glass breaking,” he queerly phrased, “you can make yourself a weapon, or you can shatter.”
“Be brave… be strong”
The Mastered Student:
                From its paw, one can know a beast.
It takes intelligence to know your enemy, wisdom to know your friend, and bravery to know yourself.
Sometimes you get the lion, sometimes the tiger gets you.
Side B, Part 2
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended:  Saturday, May 6, 2017 at 9:12PM
The irony:
“Put me in a room,
Sit and make me listen to all this suffering,
And cause me agony by arousal.
Well, I suppose it will make me feel better,
Although the guilt will make me feel worse.”
The guilt trip:
“I think I am not quite right, but I am he who is me, and so many sides come to the surface, so many masks I wear to make progress in your world. Can’t you see I’m a mockery of everything you hope to archive?” verbosely spoke the author did, questioning his security with his friends, all the while enjoying the suffering of theirs he seeks to cease.
The Conflicted:
I crave for you to be nearest to me, but I don’t want you to touch me. I want to feel your skin, even in spite of how sick it makes me. I’d sell the soul I don’t have just to be held safely in your arms for just one night. Just to quiet the contradiction in my brain. My head is kinda funny because it feels like the world is gonna end with a silent whimper after the second biggest bang. No wonder why self-termination seemed so appealing, but that is a cowards’ thinking, given my gravest wound is a scar ain’t no body gonna see. All I want is to be happy and free.
The Upbeat Melancholy:
At least you have to die someday,
If it isn’t today,
Chin up,
It might just be tomorrow,
If it isn’t then,
Ain’t you lucky?
The Doomy Little Mouse:
“Squeak, Squeak, Blorp, squeee!”
the lonesome hopeful man:
                                                                “I danced amidst the lonely spaces, in survival mode, there was no room for anything but for I and Me, however even if you don’t know anyone who loves you, you can be someone who loves someone, and you can allow for something beyond the survivalist I and me. Like You and We.”
Side !, Part ?
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended:  Sunday, May 7, 2017 at 4:19PM
He, The Lover:
                “Hello, how are you?”(Turns to face Her, The Loved one.)
                                Her, The Loved one:
                (Turning to have her eyes meets He, The Lover) “I’ve been fine, I cannot complain, how about yourself?”
                                He, The Lover:
                “I am fine, say, why don’t we go for a picnic, the weather seems pleasant.” (He gestures towards the cloudless sky.)
                                Her, The Loved one:
[With doubt in her voice]: “uh… sure! But I hear it is suppose to rain later. So we should do it as soon as possible. After all, we don’t want to get wet.”
                                He, The Lover:
[Anxious and overcome with internal dread mixed with joy and sorrow]: “Well, I would like to do it as soon as we could. I have most of the supplies already in my car. However if you’re too busy, that is fine.” (Turns away from Her, The Loved one, ready for rejection.)
                                Her, The Loved one:
[placing one hand upon He, The Lovers’ shoulder] “Well I’ve been busy with–”
                                He, The Lover:
                [Turns around planting his index and middle finger on Her, The Loved ones’ lips in an attempt to silence Her, The Loved one.] “Shush. I already know, besides, the readers don’t need to know every detail of your existence. I know you, and in that, that is enough. For now, let us enjoy this sunrise, the food and each others’ company.” [He, The Lover puts his arm around Her, The Loved One and joins Her, The Loved One in staring at the sunrise.]
Her, The Loved One:
                (Puzzled and confused) “Who are the readers?”
                                He, The Lover:
                [Stares deeply into the eyes of those reading this text] “They know who they are.” [Goes back to staring at the sunrise.]
 Her, The Loved One:
                “Oh, okay.” [Her, The Loved One rests her head on He, The Lovers’ shoulder.]
                                                                                The End:
                                                                                “Or Is it?”
Side ?, Part !
Written By Jason Aaron Sutterfield
Started writing on: Wednesday, May 3, 2017 at 11:59PM
Ended:  Sunday, May 7, 2017 at 5:03PM
                                                                Credits:
He, The Loved One and his many masks and aspects were played by: The Author, I think.
Her, The Loved one was played by: An Amalgamation of Various Women.
Cameo by: The Doomy Little Mouse.
Music provided by: various albums in my head.
Fourth wall breaks: were unavoidable.
Hey Look: your shoe is untied!
The price of tea in China: varies depending on how you have your tea made.

References: Twin Peaks, Star Trek, The Princess Bride, Doctor Who, my own writing (yes I am that vain).

Inspirations:  The Hollow Men by T.S. Elliot. A short speech made by Wentworth Miller that I found on Facebook. Mocking societal norms. Aspects of my own past and trying to find my own identity. Surviving suicide. Falling in love way too many times to count. Saying “the hell with grammar, sir!” The Doomy Little Mouse and the friendship we’ve had for nearly five years.

Special thanks: Mr. Battle. My Little Radio. Bruiser. Doomy Little Mouse. My Ponderer.  All My Human Hearts. My Star of Fire. Mars Argo. Queen. My Belovable Heart. My Crafty Brain. Donna-doctordonna-friend. Metalhead. Frosty Canadian. My Parents. Madness and so much more!
Q and A:

Q: “what started your want to write?”

A: “My grandmother dying?”

Q:”Do you believe in God?”

A:”only in theory, otherwise I do not worship or revere any being higher or more advanced than man.”

Q:”what is your faith system?”

A:”My own.”

Q:”who do you write for?”

A:”Myself, no one else.”

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